As a husband you should not make decisions without her input. You definitely should not hire a maid or chef without her approval. In ideal circumstances, she should be the one hiring and managing household staff. The home is her domain, leave the running of the home affairs to her.
You can express your needs about what you want done to her and together you work out how to get it done.
If for instance, you want a particular meal for dinner and you are not able to make the food yourself and she also says she is tired and can not make the particular food you want, you can discuss with her amicably to look at other options and see how to make it work… There are take out meal options, there are soup buckets options, there are also hired chefs who come in and cook during the weekends, stock your freezers and go…
My point is work with your wife, don’t take solo decisions. Listen to her concerns and don’t dismiss her words; especially if she says that she has concerns about a particular thing. Dismissing her words rudely can be termed disrespectful. Even if you don’t agree with her words, you can respectfully say it without resorting to verbal and demeaning abuse.
If you have any criticism about how you want her to do things, make sure you are telling it to her privately and not in the presence of any domestic staff, extended family or even your children.
Otherwise, her natural response will be to revolt.
If she as much as feels threatened by any servant in the house or child; for example if she sees that you are showing favouritism to any servant or even child over her or trying to downgrade her to praise the servant or the child; the human response will be to fight that child or that servant. And to as them to go.
It is not fair… Yes, however, what is right is that you and your wife are one and to create a harmonious relationship, you must ensure that you are not creating loopholes that allow the enemy to break your ranks and cause disunity in your home.
From the Scriptures, we see that when Sarah told Abraham to send Hagar away, God told Abraham to listen to His wife.
God is interested in harmonious relationships between husband and wife. That is why the verse “what God has joined together, let not man put asunder”… Any man or woman who is working to cause conflict or put asunder a couple that God has joined will be taken out of the equation for the restoration of harmony between the two that God has made one.
God designed it that way.
However, make sure that you as the spouse is not the one working to cause conflict and break that unity. Ensure your actions are respectful and protective of your spouse at all times.
Your wife is not your wife because she can cook or do house chores. Marriage is for companionship and for working on joint shared purpose goals to the glory of God. Any maid or servant can cook and clean. That is not the purpose of having a wife. The two shall become one is the goal.
If you need more lessons on what the purpose of marriage is, follow the marriage coaches, I will periodically share on my timeline.
All will be well,
Ire oooooooooooo,
Onaoluwa Abimbola, is Medical Laboratory Scientist, Health for all advocate, Author, and a passionate advocate for Better Homes.